Beauty of the cross

We've been making progress...
we sent off all the paperwork for our passports
our support letters are written
God has already started to provide financial support
basically....it is starting to get REAL!

If you are a praying person please pray for-

• a surplus of bookbags/school supplies for us to take with us
• for me to be able to stay focused during this semester of school
• financial provision for the trip
• for the children and staff at Gathiga Children's Hope Home

I have been listening to the song "Beauty of the Cross" by Johnny Diaz a lot lately, it's so pretty! I love the lyrics:
Only through the cross that I'm made clean to draw near to you
Saved so that you would receive all glory due Your name
Everlasting God from age to age you never change
A true love story remains for all eternity
That all the world would see

my pity party

I'm getting discouraged.
I knew that this step in the journey would come, but so soon?
I know this trip is totally up to God, because it is way too big for me to handle.
Maybe it's because it's finals week and I am overwhelmed. I think I am giving myself a stomach ulcer. Everytime I think about how much has to be done for the trip in such a short period of time I have a mini-anxiety attack. Maybe it's not a "mini" one because I don't know what a "normal" anxiety attack looks like. Sometimes I feel like I was dropped off in the middle of nowhere and have no idea which way to turn or what the next step is. In these times I need to remember to lean on the Word and the promises that have been made.
I have prayed about this anxiety, but I once heard someone say, "Why do we pray small prayers to a big God?" Meaning that God is capable of things so much bigger than we believe is possible. That question is something that has always stuck with me. So I am constantly thinking, "Why pray for myself and my needs when there are people who need hope and healing and people who have never even heard the name of Jesus? I should pray for those people!" Why can't I do both, you may ask? Well...I guess that would be a good solution, huh? ;) I am working on this daily. I feel like a dork for being this anxious when deep down I know that God will make it work.

Search me, Lord

A verse that has really been sticking out to me lately is Psalm 139:23-24,

"Search me, God, and know my heart; 
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting. "

God knows what is in our hearts better than we do. He knows our weaknesses and our faults. Sometimes it is scary for me to honestly say "Search me, God, and know my heart." I guess I'm afraid of what he might find.

The Bible says that God cares so much about us that he knows the number of hairs on our heads. Isn't that amazing? God knows all of the good, bad, and just plain dumb things that we have done and he STILL loves us! This week my prayer is going to be to bodly ask God to search my heart and point out the "offenses" that are on my heart that I need to change. Some of them I may not be able to change, but He can.